G'day, Just went and saw the X-Men Apocalypse flick AND what a flick, epic XMen tale BUT I expected no less...
BUT, it raised a few quandries in my already over crowded nerd brain, so if you can help me out it would be much appreciated...I mean I'm a Whovian, so i'm used to a universe altering temporal paradox or two but these mutants are giving me a headache...so lets go through it one mutant at a time shall we....O.K..cool...lets starts with the head honcho
First we see of Charles is as an 11 year old in 1944 at this family estate when he meets Mystique for the first time, then next time we see him is in 1962 at Harvard getting his doctorate reckon his about 29 now, he takes on Sebastian Shaw during the Cuban Missile Crisis were he loses the use of his legs after Moira shoots at Magneto who deflects the bullet into Charles spine by mistake, then we see him 1973 as a 40 year old recluse but his dragged into the world by Wolverine who has been sent from 2023 to stop Mystique from killing Dolliver Trask in Paris, then its 1983 and a 50 year old Charles goes up against Apocalypse to stop him taking over the planet, then we see him in 2005 and 2006 taking on Magneto and his Brotherhood AND THEN just before the Battle of the Bay Charles is killed by Jean Grey SO...how does 79 year old Xavier send back Logan from 2023 ?...Lets get confusing shall we.
RAVEN"MYSTIQUE"DARKHOLME
The ever changing Mystique first shows up in 1944 in Charles Xaviers kitchen do a B&E for some food, she appears to be about 9 years old, Charles (aged 11) invites her to stay and live in the house , we then see her in London in 1962 with Charles as he gains his doctorate, its at this point I give up guessing her age cause she acts about 18 but must be closer to Charle's age of 29, we then see her ten years later in 1973 in Vietnam, tricking Stryker out of his mutants, In Paris during the Peace accords trying to kill Dolliver Trask and during the Cuban Missile crisis and then in 1983 fighting Apocalypse...We then jump ahead to 2005 when she is with Magneto in The Botherhood trying to use Rogue to mutate everybody then in 2006 helping Charles to stop Stryker (again) and then in Last Stand where she loses her powers just before the Battle of the Bay...Like I said , Im not even gonna guess her age cause ..I dunno
VICTOR"SABRETOOTH"CREED
The older brother of Logan/Wolverine, fought alongside his brother in The Civil war, WW1, WW2 and Vietnam, so once again guessing his age is ridiculously hard, Joined up with Stryker so he could capture and experiment on mutants , even had a run in with a young Cyclops...after a massive brawl with Wolverine and Wade Wilson at Three Mile island in 1983 we didnt see Sabretooth again until 2005, at which time he looked more like a hair band lead singer than a eternal assasin...
WARREN WORTHINGTON III
Movies appeared in Last Stand and Apocalypse (that was him with the steel wings right?)
Angel made a minor appearance in the battle of San Francisco in 2006, before flying off into the distance, before that however , he filed his wings off in 1996,when he was about 12, and then, if it was him , he was mid 20's in 1983 fighting Nightcrawler in the German circus cage when Apocalypse gave him steel wings...so is Warren Worthington the ArchAngel or not? hmmm
HANK "BEAST MCCOY"
Hank McCoy, everyone's favourite blue furred beast, lets assume he was approx 18 years old in 1962 during First class, so that makes him 29 in Days of, and 39 in Apocalypse which mathematically speaking has him aged 62 as Senator McCoy in Last Stand...HUH!!!, no way no grey fur in sight ...hmmm
KURT "NIGHTCRAWLER" WAGNER
Crawler appeared first to be around his late 20's when he attacked the President in the White House in 2003, and he looked to be about 17 in Apocalypse some 20 years earlier, which is fine BUT how come in 2003 when Jean and Storm tracked him to the church in Boston he didnt know them ?, after all he fought against and alongside them when Apocalypse attacked some 20 years earlier..I mean after all , his pretty impossible to forget...hmmm
SCOTT 'CYCLOPS" SUMMERS
Prof X's right hand mutant and deceased boyfriend of Phoenix..The solar bolt firing cyclops appeared to be about 16 in Apocalypse when he was taken to X College by his brother Havoc in 1983, However he was attacked at school by Sabretooth in Wolverine but no one mentioned this ANYWAY, 22 years later he helped the X Men defeat Magneto in 2005, he sure as hell didnt look 38, which made him 40 nearly when his girlfriend smashed into a fine paste during the Last Stand war...hmm
Speaking of the Firey Phoenix
Right, so in Battle of The Bay during 2006 Jean looked about late 20's maybe possibly 30, and Prof X and magneto visited her house when she was about 11 ...Then in 1983 during the Apocalypse attack she was about 16, so mathematically Jean should of been about 38 during the Battle of The Bay...hmm
ORORO"STORM" MUNROE
Storm appeared to be 17 in 1983 when she was a pick pocket and theif in the markets in Cairo Egypt when she was recruited by Apocalypse , So in 2005 when she is an X-man and taking on Magneto and his Brotherhood she should be 39, somehow I doubt it but hmmm.
PIETRO/PETER " QUICKSILVER" MAXIMOFF
EMMA "WHITE QUEEN" FROST
Emma intially shows up in 1973 with Sebastian Shaw trying to start a nuclear war in Cuba which the First Class have to stop, and I reckon she looks about 25 whilst this is going on, then during the Wlolverine Origins movie Frosty get s a 15 second cameo when Logan is breaking out all of Strykers kidnapped kids which is around 1983 and Emma is a school kid?...hmmm
WADE"DEADPOOL" WILSON
First time we see the loudmouth is in late 1970 something in Team X with Logan and Sabretooth, and he talked that friggin much Stryker cuts his tongue out and sewed swords into his arms all the while giving him other mutants abilities( teleportation for one), in 1983, we see him cark it when Logan and Sabretooth chuck him into the shut down nuclear reactor at Three Mile island, a fair bit of time passes by and Deadpool shows up in 2016 with all his facilities intact and mouthy as ever...
AND now for the only Non Mutant in the bunch (although he fathered at least one that we know of)
WILLIAM STRYKER (various Army ranks ret.)
Now for the biggest jack off in the X Men Universe, yep bigger than Magneto, but at least Erics heart was in the right place.....William Stryker, first showed up In X2 after the Nightcrawler attack to plead with the U.S President for permission to raid X College ..which he got, the pres doesnt know that the lunatic is planning mutant genocide using Cerebro, anyway, turned out he had a hidden lab under Alkili Lake, which is where he as a Colonel (ret) gave Wolverine his admantium skeleton in 1983, Then we see Stryker at the beginning of Wolverine Origins in Vietnam during the war, so 1973 ish, to recruit Logan and his brother Sabretooth to join his special team of mutants to do special ops missions...the jerk then shows up as a Major in Days of Future past for 5 minutes when Mystique rescues his potential victims from an Air Force base in Saigon...then he makes another appearance in 1983 during the Apocalypse War also in a secret base ( I assume its Alkali Lake)...NOW, sometime in late 83 during Wolverine saving the captees from Stryker, Billy boy gets his mind wiped by Kayla Silverfox, he then gets questioned for killing his superior officer who tried to shut down Strykers project...hmm
I got a headache....
Seeya Next blogaroo
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